The day had been long and hard. Did it have its good moments? Yes, surly. But by the end of the day I had felt completely attacked from all sides.
There were ants in the pantry… while company was here. The boys were at each other’s throats… in front of company. I felt icky and ugly. Some of the desserts didn’t set correctly. I didn’t have patience with my hubby. I didn’t have patience with my children. My toe hurt. My hip hurt. I was tired, no exhausted. And I didn’t finish one project that needed my attention. I truly wanted to run away.
I felt as if I were going to cave. The pressure in each category were small but all together it felt insurmountable. And then I remembered Joshua.
Oh, I had been so put out because Joshua needed God’s attention again. I remember vividly thinking, “We’re not out of Joshua YET? Good grief.” Yet, now I needed God’s attention for the millionth time, not just the third. There was no army like sand in front of me. There were only little inconveniences and annoyances: pride, comparison, selfishness, and stinginess. But I was in desperate need of God to reach down, touch my heart, and allow me to fall into His rest.
That’s when the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart. “Do not fear. This day will pass as have all those before. Every day will not be your best, but you can still be your best every day.” And I rested.
Afterwards there were a few conversations to root out issues, a few apologies to smooth out relationships, and I hid the scale again. When I woke up the next day it was fresh, I was fresh, and I only wanted to run at the gym.
Why I grow impatient with myself when I need God every day in big and small things boggles my mind. Why I would scoff at Joshua for needing God’s comfort and support again is beyond me. I’m only grateful the Holy Spirit pointed out my mistake and led me back to peace. He didn’t shame me or make me feel guilty. He only shined the light on the truth and then walked forward with me. He gave me His comfort and support for the millionth time, and I was grateful.