There have been times in my life I did not go to God for the truth of a matter. My dependence was on friends and people I trusted. The problem is you will always have some people who are ready to support and agree with you. And make no mistake, there will always be others who will disagree with you. God, however, is on the side of Truth. Only when you are willing to listen to Him with your heart are you sure of which way you should turn.
I have a habit of telling people to listen to their heart, or the small voice inside of them. I know that voice will always tell them which way to go. Unfortunately when I say this some people think I mean to listen to their own voices. This is not what I mean. I know more than others how we can let ourselves down, confuse ourselves, or simply lie to ourselves. I do not trust myself more than I can throw me. The only one I do trust is the Holy Spirit. He lives deep in my soul, heart, and being. His voice is a soft gentle voice directing me and showing me the way to go.
Do I always want to do what He tells me? No. Currently He is pushing me to give a Truth Wrap to a family in need of love and support. Yes, I know I give them away monthly, but then they are asked for... requested. This feels so different. My heart panics. My voice says, “What if they don’t want it!? They’ll think I’m stupid. It’s not enough. It’s a weak attempt at best. If I understood them better I would know this is NOT the way to reach out to them.” And God says again, “Go.” So then my voice switches tactics. “You are only doing this to bolster yourself. You’re looking for acclaim and attention. Just leave them alone. You’re going to do nothing but point to yourself.” And still the Holy Spirit says, “Listen to me. Just make it. Just give it. I will take care of the rest.” My voice does not stop at this point. I push through as I hear, “This is such a small thing. Why do you even have trouble with it? What is your deal anyway?”
And so having to be very brave my goal is to finish it quickly and give it to them once it is completed. Sometimes God isn’t telling me to sit back and be still. Sometimes He’s telling me to do hard things, like lay there and die. At least it feels like it. You see, my Africa is the people around me. It’s my scary place where I work hard to get on the flights to reach them. But God is calling me, and so I am trying my best to listen. Without asking anyone’s advice around me. And goodness... it is hard.