I woke up in the morning with fear, anxiety, and worry hanging over my head and invading my thoughts. There was a situation I had to face. For half an hour I laid in bed thinking about possible scenarios and how I could respond to each one. I finally reminded myself I couldn't control anything. All I could do was get up and spend some time with God before I moved on with my day.
I laid on the couch, the day heavy and forboding. I had made a small list of gratitude which I had hoped would help bolster me out of the pit I could feel myself going into. Tears began to fill my eyes and I knew in that moment. The gratitude doesn't help if I don't live it. And so I got up, and did what was set before me to do for that day.
Our circumstances vary by the day, season, and moment. Sometimes they are hard and heavy. We can justify sitting in the sadness and letting it swirl around us as we break. We can, and no one would blame us at times. But what good does it do if we never get up? Emotional release is good, but how long do we stay there?
We have no cultural norms of how long it takes to grieve something. And for many of the things we grieve in life, others would find it laughable anyway. We have to find that balance within us. We know when we are sinking. We know when we need to stop. We know when we need to release our assumed control over our circumstances and hand it over to God.
Two times in the past few days I was able to turn from my emotions and fears and instead face God knowing that I may not be able to do a thing about those things, but He is with me. He will take me through it all. And when I moved away from the fear and emotion I was able to take a step closer towards peace.